A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a
very good looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very
little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a
Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought
long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire
the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot
about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing
very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You
have done a really good job and the ranch looks great. You should go into
town and kick up your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
However, one o'clock came and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired
hand. He returned around two-thirty and found the rancher's widow sitting by
the fireplace. She quietly called him over to her.
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she
directed. "Now take off my boots." He did so, slowly.
"Now take off my socks." He did. "Now take off my skirt."
He did. "Now take off my bra." Again with trembling hands he did as he was
told. Now," she said, "take off my panties." He slowly pulled them down and
Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes to town again,
I'll fire you on the spot."